Thoughts on my Second Pregnancy + a Bumpdate


As I've alluded to previously, connecting with this pregnancy has been a bit different. It took longer and it still feels unique. When we first saw the positive pregnancy test result, I cried. Tears of happiness, excitement and then "OMG am I betraying my firstborn?!" (#momguilt much?) followed by the constant concern of how I'll be able to love another baby as much as firstborn. (Most moms I've spoken to reassure me that your heart just does it and so I am less nervous about that now.) With my firstborn, they were tears of happiness, excitement and then "oh $h!t, are we really ready for this?!" 

So, I'm well aware and used to the reality that mixed feelings will be involved when expecting a new baby. After all, it's an adventure and experience unlike any other. 

What I wasn't prepared for was how phsycically different this pregnancy would feel. I mean, I know moms say it ("every pregnancy is different) but I didn't realize just how different pregnancies with the same sex baby can be. 

This pregnancy, I felt much sicker. As in I thought I was going to faint a couple times, felt nauseous until 20 weeks, and puked at 23 weeks. I am so much more tired but I cough that up to working full-time, house hunting and moving, and chasing my toddler around.

At the same time, I've felt so much more relaxed. I've gained less weight. I am not obsessing over the weeks because they seem to be flying by. I am not worried about every. little. thing. I know the baby is anatomically healthy and he moves a lot. His cute little movements, by the way, don't take me by surprise as much. It's like they're a part of my everyday normal and I love it. 

As for the connection, I feel more prepared and less scared and I think it's what has contributed to the extra time it took to feel like the pregnancy is really real. That, and the fact that in just four short months another beautiful baby boy will be joining our family.

I am now confident my firstborn will not feel betrayed but I do expect him to not love sharing my attention all the time. I am also confident, though, that he will absolutely love his new baby brother, companion and (hopefully) best friend for life. 

Recently, we were in the pediatrician's waiting area and S tried to play with a girl. She screamed (at the top of her lungs) for him to get away from her toys, scaring S. I soothed him and kept playing with him. He then approached a crawling baby, whose brother came up to them and said "that's MY baby!" I carried S away, and I told him soon he'll have his own baby. 

That day and experiences like those are proof that he wants and enjoys other kids' company. It helps me feel better about our upcoming transition from one to two kiddos. 

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And now, here's a mini a bumpdate since I kind of did one a few weeks ago:
Weeks: 24 -- 6 months down, just 4 to go!
SexBoy!
Name: Still undecided but we wouldn't announce until birth anyway ;)
Feeling: Much less sick, excited, much more connected and a bit anxious to meet our bundle. 
Wearing: Regular clothes for the most part... if you watched my Instagram stories yesterday, then you know it's soon time for the hair tie pants trick and/or maternity pants. 



2 comments

  1. I can't believe you are already 6 months! You look great!

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  2. So glad you wrote this! I actually wrote a post just like this because you don't hear many people talk about the different feelings you experience in each pregnancy. I am 8 months and sooo ready to meet my new little man. I have a little boy already and I think him being excited to be a little bro helps me through this rough pregnancy. I hope it gets better for you in your coming months!

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