Sacrifice -- why I'm (more than) okay with it

Saturday, October 22, 2016

There were clean dishes that needed to be put away and dirty dishes in the sink. Clean laundry that needed to be folded and put away. My husband was busy doing something and despite my desire to take care of the household work, the baby wasn't having it. 

He was whiney and not because he was hungry or wanted to nap. He wanted to go to sleep for the night. I realized this when rocking him in the living room or pacing the hallway wasn't cutting it. So I put him in bed and snuggled with him. 

Moments later, he'd stopped sucking on his pacifier and he was fast asleep. As I lay there with one arm under his legs and the other on top of him, I thought about everything I'd wanted to do around the house but wouldn't get around to doing. 

And yet, none of it mattered. My son wanted to be "tucked in bed" and he wanted me to do it. He needed me in those moments more than the household chores needed to be done. 

Sacrifice came to mind while I laid there with him. Everyone warns you right before you give birth to savor your last days without as much responsibility. People who don't want kids often say they don't want to sacrifice to much of themselves or their time. There I was in bed, giving all of myself and my time to the little human being my husband and I created... It was a seemingly mundane moment that held so much value. 

I could've been upset with myself or with the situation but I wasn't. I wanted to be a mommy more than anything in the whole wide world. It's become my favorite role and the biggest part of who I am. 

The quiet moments when he's calmly laying beside me are some of my favorites and I will savor each and every one. He's bound to grow up and these moments will become rarer. 

The household work, on the other hand, will always be there. It can wait. My baby can't. And he shouldn't have to.

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