It's okay to fail

GASP! Yes, it is okay to not be perfect. To fall down sometimes. These are teaching moments. After all, they allow us to grow.

Last week I received the dreaded news that I did not pass the New York bar exam. It was the first monumental exam/ task I've ever not passed. And yet, I didn't cry once, which is huge for me. My boss is awesome and my job wasn't contingent on the result. My family and friends are great-- some didn't even believe me when I told them. And it's not the end of the world.

I also had a feeling I did not pass, which helped prepare me for the news. Not the self-deprecating feeling I'd had two years ago when I actually did pass the Illinois bar exam. This feeling was different and the night before the results were released I actually dreamt that I failed. 

I knew I had a lot on my plate at the time--a job search, job offer, last weeks in a city we loved, and a cross country move two weeks prior to the exam... I remember breaking down and crying amidst all the boxes in our apartment and just feeling like I hadn't prepared enough--because I hadn't. (I'd actually overprepared for one section and underprepared for another.) 

My first feelings when I got the results were disappointment, confusion, and a refusal to study and sit for another bar exam. 

While I haven't 100% made my decision, the confident self-competitor in me feels like I have something to prove to myself. I can't just let my bar exam record end with a DID NOT PASS. I am not a failure--not that this one exam would ever make me that.  

And so I think you know which way I'm leaning. 




2 comments

  1. I love your outlook! You will get em next time!

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  2. Your outlook is so, so good. Sending happy, SUCCESSFUL vibes your way :)

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