A good person

I recently got into a debate (with a man). The topic of our discussion was whether a wife should be expected to cater to her husband, i.e. cook for him, serve his dinner, iron for him, pack for him, etc. 

(Note: if you are a wife and you enjoy doing these things for your husband, that's great. Expectation is very different from desire.)

When I expressed concern over having been told (by other people previously, not by the man) what I, in order to be a good wife, ought to do for my husband, the man said (not verbatim) that it's okay for a girl to be raised to be a good wife because it's sometimes necessary in order to hold on to a good man. 

I let that digest for a few seconds. And then I explained that I grew up striving to be a good woman, and a mom. 

I might have grown up in a romanticized world and I might have always wanted to get married, but until I got married I had never centered my life around becoming a good wife. How could I even be a good wife if I am not a good woman?

Then, I thought to myself: even more than a good woman-- I want to be a good person. I want to live life to the fullest, I hope to help others, I desire to be a kind and compassionate person. 

Don't get me wrong--I love my husband deeply. I have served Mr. L dinner. And I've also ironed for him, I've done his laundry, cooked for him. He's also done the same for me. Mutuality is our key. I hope we always practice it and I hope we can show our children just how important that balance is. 


  1. Kyle and I are both okay with doing things for ourselves but I take care of cooking and laundry most of the time.

  2. It definitely takes a lot more than waiting on a man to make a good wife. I don't believe that's the woman's role. Husband and I are 50/50. While I do in fact do most of the cleaning and cooking it's not a requirement. If I asked him he would do it, or if I left it he would do it but being a stay at home mom it helps me feel like I'm not so worthless.