Is there an ideal age by which to be married?

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

I recently came across a Times article about an application that purports to calculate the median age at which my Facebook friends are tying the knot. Later on in the article, however, it describes the age as the median age of my married Facebook friends. Whichever it is, I fit right in with the results I got:

To those of you who will not be married by this app's median age, fear not. Continue experiencing life's adventures and let the time come when it's meant to.  

My fiancé, Tim, and I will be married in nine months. I will be 26-years-old, so I guess I am getting married right in the nick of time? You see, because the results suggest you are "left" with some time to get married to reach the median age of your friends. Not to worry though . . . it reminds you that others get married at an older age. And in the very beginning before any calculations are made the application reminds you of the median age of marriage in the U.S.:


 While I have to admit it feels kind of good to not feel like I am "dragging" behind my peers, I think a more important way of knowing when to marry is based on one's experiences and maturity. More than the age at which I will be married (the "goal age" of which growing up used to be 25), I am happy to say that I have enjoyed college, explored three continents, and made it through law school prior to marriage. I have lived in five cities. I am gainfully employed. In fact, I am currently learning lots by living on my own and by myself in an amazing city I had never even visited prior to interviewing for my job. I have experienced heartbreak, trauma and loss, and I am stronger because of it all. I am more capable of loving myself and loving life. And I am able to experience this love, this great, sometimes trying, amazing love that Tim and I share. All because of the life I have lived.  

So, sure, while it will be nice to be married in my mid-20s like many other of my Facebook friends, I think the best of part of it all is that I will have had experienced so much of life by the time our wedding day arrives. I do not feel as though I will be missing out on anything--in fact, I am gaining a lifelong fellow adventurer. (Tim himself has traveled to many countries on three continents, and knows way better than I do about living on one's own and in different cities.)

It is due to my experiences that I am readier for marriage than I'll ever be--and, for me, that is more important than any age number.

 
 
P.S. Happy Wedding Wednesday!

6 comments :

  1. Twists & turns there might have been but you ended up right where you belong.

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  2. You always end up in the spot you are meant to be in. :) Age has nothing to do with it.

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  3. it seems like you're at the right spot!

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  4. I was 22 when I got married, that's not the norm anymore I guess

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  5. Interesting, for sure. I have a feeling that the median age of my married facebook friends would be closer to 30...people are tending to get married older, I believe that often influenced because more people are getting advanced degrees and waiting on marriage till finishing their education, which can definitely simplify life! I got married before I finished college but I still finished on time!

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  6. Totally agree, age is just a number! It's where you are in life that determines if you're ready or not. Very interesting, though, that "there's an app for that!"

    Also, my brother's name is Tim and his wife's name is Jackie! Just a fun coincidence, thought I'd share :)

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