Find the positive

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Oftentimes when I'm feeling inadequate, sad, or just plain pathetic, I am too hard on myself. I pick at all of the negatives. But when I'm done with my pity party for one, I look for the positives. 
 
For me, focusing on the positives was the most helpful while studying for the bar. While studying, I suffered some of my lowest lows, such as crying in the middle of Times Square alone and having people look at me, presumably worried about my wellbeing wondering what the heck happened. I was a bit of a mess. I wore only gym clothes for the month of July. I stepped outside, maybe, a handful of times. I thought I was on the verge of panic and anxiety attacks at times. I know I was not alone, though, as many of my peers went through emotional roller coasters, as well.
 
Now, I don't know what the future holds. What I do know is that I gave it my all and it is now out of my hands. And there is positive in all of it. I was worked to my utmost intellectual ability. I put my 100% into something. 
 
Another positive of this was the reminder that I have the absolute BEST support system possible. Through my all tears and self-doubt, their faith in me did not waiver. Here are some ways my family and friends came to my rescue:
 
  T sent me a new cuddle buddy.
 
  My best friend Luana bought me uplifting prints, including this one of my favorite quotes.

T sent me a mug to drink coffee out of with cookies ... and my brother brought home cookies later that day.

My dad bought me home 3 bags of DARK chocolate goodies.

I woke up one day to my index cards having been cut and organized by my mom, who also helped me study them every night.
P.S. I want to wish my mom a very happy birthday today! 
 
  My best friend from law school and I texted daily to whine reassure each other and uplift each other. And my loved ones were constantly reaching out to me to let me know they believed in me. That was probably the MOST helpful thing anyone could have done for me.
 
 Ultimately, God has a plan and I trust everything will work out the way it's meant to.
 
  http://25.media.tumblr.com/2b18ff53a49badf8ae4542bee237b982/tumblr_mptk79iX4d1qhmhdfo2_r1_500.jpg
 
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5 comments :

  1. I love that last quote! I definitely struggle with timing and impatience too and was actually just praying about that this morning, but it is comforting to know God's plan is good and His timing is perfect. Hang in there!

    XOXO
    Chelsea
    http://anchorsaweigh-ouradventure.blogspot.com/

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  2. And after all that, it's over :)

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  3. It's over my friend and you did amazing! :) So proud of you!

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  4. Such a true post. Unless you've been through the experience, you simply cannot understand the pressure, the amount of material, and the stress that studying for the bar exam causes! I hope that neither of us have to go through that process again, but we both were able to keep a level head and realize that it was a test that determined our career path --- but never our worth.

    You are amazing! You kicked butt!

    -Kate
    www.theflorkens.com

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  5. I couldn't agree more! It's all about finding the positive. The positive about blogging for me? I met you! So happy you are done with that bar!!!

    (My husband saw your blog comment on my blog and said that you look exactly like my best friend. He is soooo right! When I redo your blog and I do a post about it, I will put a photo of her so you can see for yourself!)

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