"See you soon."

Monday, April 1, 2013

Happy April! I am back from Hawaii. Unfortunately. But that also means I'm back to blogging non-scheduled posts to tell you about my & Timmy's last 36 hrs together this weekend, which were extremely eventful.

I woke up Friday morning to him telling me what he had planned for us (lucky me) & I had 0 objections. We kicked off Friday with breakfast at Time's Coffee Shop and then watched Snow White and the Huntsman in bed. We napped and then (pictured below) went to dinner at Haleiwa Joe's, watched GI Joe in 3D and shared a ton of laughs while dying Easter eggs (using Kool Aid, some flavors which we mistook for their colored packages, forcing us to use weak blue and green dyes - hence our mostly red eggs ha) while sipping on tequila sunrises. We woke up early Saturday to go to Lanikai Beach (also pictured below), our favorite, and just relax in the sun and clear blue ocean.

Only one of these has been posted to my instagram so you're in for a treat :)

And then we were off to the airport to say "see you soon."


I wish I could say it has but even after all of these years it hasn't gotten easier. In fact, I think it's gotten harder. And the waves of tears hit me in the most unsuspecting, simple moments. Like when we were laying in our bed (he finished building the night before I arrived and our first time each sleeping in it was my first night there) and I realized I wouldn't be waking up next to him in a few days. Or when he asked me if I'd miss the mountains. Or when he asked me to promise to keep our last day cry-free and just full of smiles. And, perhaps more obvious, when he hugged me tightly before I went through security.

What baffled me was that I was much stronger when Timmy left NY in January. I didn't cry at all until I walked back to my car after bringing him to the airport. The last time I'd left Hawaii (May 2012), though, I wouldn't see him for 7 months due to his deployment ... So maybe my mind was playing games with me this time? Or was it harder now because we'd made more beautiful memories? Or fell more in love, if that's even possible? Maybe it's all of the above.

So whenever I got sad I thought of things to make me feel better:
- I realize that some people don't have a "Timmy" in their lives and have never experienced and might never experience a love like ours and I feel grateful for him and our relationship;
- I remember that others see their loved ones off to a 1- or 2-year-long deployment and/or off to combat and it gives me perspective;
- I remember that I am returning home to family and friends and that Timmy won't be with a loved one again til we reunite. This probably makes me sad also but I then remember how strong of a man he is and I feel better;
-And I look at our next countdown which is just a measly 50-something days and realize it's NOTHING compared to the 205 days we were apart last year. I've got this. We've got this. There's not a doubt in my mind.

So why do I cry despite all of the above?
Because it still hurts like hell to part from my best friend and soul mate and it absolutely sucks to have to revert back to technology for communication ... The funny/ironic part is that I cannot even think of other downsides because the pros of being with Timmy far outweigh any all cons. I am happier with him than I've ever been. He manages to make me feel so incredibly loved and he makes every second apart worth it. He's worth it. And we're stronger because of this.

BTW thank you all for caring. I appreciate every word of encouragement and support :) I hope you all had a great Easter!



Southern Sunflowers and Coffee Beans
 



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6 comments :

  1. Hey there, here from the I love bloglovin' blog hop! I'm following you via bloglovin' :o) If you'd like to follow back, you can find me here:

    http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/3718883

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  2. Awh so happy y'all had such a good time, not gonna lie, I'm quite jealous but that's okay. ;)
    I love your outlook that the 50 some days are a piece of cake for y'all!

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  3. I'm so glad that you guys had such a good time!!! :)

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  4. I'm happy you had such a great time. It's always hard saying "see ya later" and like you I think they get harder each and every time.

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  5. See You Later is always the worst! The absolute worst. I'm coming back to the mainland to work on some wedding details for a couple weeks and I'm absolutely dreading it :(

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  6. I'm so glad you guys had such a good time. It never does get easier…bc you're right you always fall deeper in love. I know exactly what you mean. But 50 days are going to go by so fast then you guys will be together again!

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